apatheticq's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am writing here, if you care, or do not. "Before I left, I hit the bacardi." - Dynamite hack Staring into the faces of hundreds of people daily. All staring. Is it because I am abnormally tall? Look peculiar? Somehow like I don't fit in with the rest of the collage of nameless people all running around your nameless life. Attention. Drawing attention. The art of looking peculiar, saying something peculiar, or anything that is a bit diffrent from what is heard constantly ringing out of the mouths of several people everyday. Like a painting, the watercolors have been smeared to combine everyone. A few really bright colors, a few really ugly ones, and the rest somehow melded together into the background. Familiar faces are everywhere.. How many diffrent variables are there in creating faces. A nose.. eyes.. hair.. lips.. build.. sex.. skin coloration.. eyebrows, ears... I see you in everyone.. I see your eyes in a passing stranger. I see your hair worn by a friend. It is all the same really. and I walk around noticing all the obscurities, looking for some sort of complex answer when really, the probable one is that we are just here. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme.. Nothing does. Fornicate with another, and teach them to one day fornicate. Pair up with someone, and waste away the rest of existance because your one goal in life is complete. We don't make money to have money. We make money to have things. Things which will impress. Things which make continuing life easier. Is it all really to find a mate?... The human species is instilled with the want to breed. Helped by pleasure to insure that the race continues. So we work hard.. to gain money.. to gain things.. to workout to look better... all in the attempts of attracting a suitable mate. Glorify life. Please. Make it some gift from god, cause frankly I don't see much else a use for it. What goals do we have other than mating? Name them off, because somehow they will be intertwined... but maybe it isn't that. Maybe I am just finding these conclusions because you can related anything that makes you a better person, into finding a better mate. (Not that material things make you a better person mind you.) aww yes, the refrain which continues to spin through my head. it doesn't matter anyway. Why fret.. I'll be dead soon. Time passes, and you rarly appriciate what you are doing anyway. (oh no, lets get all melodramatic on the subject.) So, Like I was saying, Nothing will come from this. I just spent time writing this out, and rationalizing life.. yet it doesn't matter. It will get stacked in with more entries. Jumbled charcters that make no sense, which you may or may not try and find beauty out of. Just another lifeless charcter in the sea of charcters. Just another entry into the sea of entries. Just one more tear. 2:38am - July 28th ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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